July 31, 2011

Yesterday I got to the hospital around 5 I think.  When I arrived Mom was having an Echo-cardiogram and various other tests.  Liz, Bob, and Nelson were all sitting there talking. Actually I think Bob was letting them do all the talking.  We all had to wear gowns.  Mom had been gone a long while I guess Bob had been there an hour already.   He seemed very uncooperative about giving views on what the next step is for Mom.  We helped Mom get back into bed and found out she does have a couple of infections.  She seems more lucid but just tired.  She didn’t want us to turn people away from visiting.   Yet that morning she was telling me she couldn’t handle more.  That was confusing.

 

She reminded us where to look for her check book and to see what was paid as far as bills but I tried to look at one check book and it was so confusing.  I need to ask her or at least bring it to her to show her.  Liz offered to help but I told her I could do it.   I feel that I am definitely missing something.

 

I left the house after 9:30 making stops to neighbors (I just wasn’t up to going to bingo) I talked with Kim and Don and had some puppy loving from Lilly.  I updated both of them on Mom’s status.

 

It was well after 10:15 when I got there and the troops were in full bingo mode.  Ryan was calling the numbers, Jillian, Nicole (and Hanna?) were there serving and helping out.  There were at least 16 players today.

 

After bingo I came home and hung out.   I have the sprinkler watering some of the plants outside, and watching Pirates of theCaribbean.  I opened Mom’s mail trying to sort the stuff will have to look at it again. 

 

Around 1:30 started getting ready for Dave’s Party.  He had called me earlier to say that Rose and her family wouldn’t be getting there until 4 and that I had a choice to either come at 2 or wait until Rose and family arrive.  I went earlier. 

 

When I got there I hung out at the pool with Dave and Jim (both Jims)  and their neighbors.  I never knew Jim was a smoker (I think he is a once in a blue Moon smoker).  For the next several hours we talked, went to the store and ate. 

 

After the party I came home.  I called Liz a couple of times this afternoon before Liz got to the hospital.  One to ask her if she could ask Mom where else the other bank account/checkbook was-didn’t have to because I found it while we were talking.  I called again around 6 or so to see how Mom was doing.  Mom was sleeping and of course not eating.  Liz told me I didn’t have to come tonight so I didn’t.  I will fill out the checks for Mom to sign tomorrow and bring them to her.

 

Last but not least 84 years ago today My father was born inNorwalk CT.  Happy Birthday Dad!  I miss you.

Sunday Turned Crazy

I went to see Mom around noon.  She seemed fine and somewhat alert and visiting with Rich Smith.  I wasn’t with her long at least I didn’t think so but we talked about different things and she was asking me if certain things were done like thanking Pam.  We talked bout the situation and then contacting Barry K about the book Ella. .  I tried to explain to her that the email I read he was CCing Mom on about and that he did get the book.  Mom thought I was going to post something to Facebook for BK.  I told her I didn’t say that.  I was getting so frustrated with her because almost everything she and I were talking about was being challenged by either of us.

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 It just about that time when I discovered that the roommate had told me that Mom had a rough night (not given meds when she wanted them) so as I was leaving I called Liz.  Well just about a half an hour after that Mom was calling Liz upset accusing her of abusing and arguing with me about a  dress and posting something on Facebook.   

 

When Liz got there she talked with the nursing staff and asked them to not ask Mom if she needs meds but to give them every three hours whether or not she needs it.  Apparently she had to have a tube put down her throat and all fluids now taken away because it was causing a problem with a blockage and gas.  The combination of the pain, and medications were basically making Mom slightly hallucinating.

 

Liz spent most of the time there but I was spending a lot of time here screaming and carrying on to the point where three neighbors came half way to the door.  I apologized to them but they seem to understand.    At one point Liz was telling me all this and she said well I will tell Mom we are arguing.  I said please don’t telling her that would only acerbate things.  Liz ended up not getting to the memorial.

 

As Liz was explaining this several times over after she arrived at the restaurant that between the meds and hearing only parts of conversation her thinking and comprehension was all mixed up. 

 

As I was telling everyone what had happened for me over the last few days.  Bob, Chuck, Judy and Donna were also trying to tell me that it would be better to respond to Mom with “yes Mom” to death.  Whether it had to do with emails, or information by phones or anything she asked.

 

I was getting frustrated because as usual I didn’t think they were listening.  When Liz called me later when I got home she reviewed and urged me to think about what they were saying they all loved their moms and never disrespected them.  They all understand what I am feeling but they knew I was upset and frustrated.

 

On top of all that aggravation the internet at home is not working and hasn’t been since 2 pm.  I had been on Mom’s answering a few of her emails and then I noticed one of the lights on the DSL tower was out.  Usually when that happens Mom has to unhook the wires and put them back in.  Well I am afraid to do that but I check to see they were not pulled out.  I also thought it would reset itself.  It hasn’t.  I even turned off Mom’s tower.  (I did that at Liz’s suggestion) Now it is at the log in window and I am having a devil of a time trying to remember Mom’s password.  I know of only one other person having Internet problems and that was Kim.  I called Mike & Roberta (for other reasons) I called M. V Brown.  They were not having problems.  I am going to have to ask Don next door (that’s if he is even going to talk to me-I am sure he could hear me carrying on). IF he could help me but he may not be able to.   I may have to call Mike and Tessa back to see if they could help.  I can’t very well ask Mom because she is mired in all that stuff.  I know that we shouldn’t have problems with connectivity every few months.  I am guessing the latest has to do with the heat wave.  I don’t think I pulled anything out of the “sockets”.